What Is Play Therapy and How Does It Help Children?
Play is not a distraction from therapy -- it is the therapy. Here is why, and what your child is actually doing in those sessions.
By Rebecca Anderson, PhD · Licensed Psychologist · Florida Coast Counseling
When a therapist recommends play therapy for your child, the most common reaction from parents is something like: "Wait -- they're just going to play? How is that therapy?"
It is a fair question. Play therapy looks, from the outside, like a child doing what children do. But there is a great deal happening beneath the surface, and the research on its effectiveness is substantial. Play therapy is not glorified babysitting, and it is not a break from the real work. For children -- particularly those under 10 -- play is the primary language through which they process and communicate their inner world. A child who cannot tell you they are scared may show you exactly that in the way they play out a scene with figurines. A child who has experienced something frightening may rehearse it, reframe it, or work through it in the sand tray in ways that would be impossible in conversation.
Understanding what play therapy is -- and is not -- helps parents engage with it more effectively and gives them realistic expectations for the process.
Why Play Is the Right Language for Children
Adults process difficult experiences primarily through language -- talking, writing, thinking in words. Children's brains work differently. Their verbal and abstract reasoning systems are still developing. Asking a seven-year-old to sit down and talk about their feelings is often like asking someone to describe music in a language they barely speak. The information is there; the medium is wrong.
Play is how children naturally make sense of their experience. They work out fears by playing them out. They practice social situations in imaginative play. They process confusing or frightening events by recreating and experimenting with them in the safe space of pretend. A skilled play therapist can observe, reflect, and respond to a child's play in ways that support processing and healing -- without ever requiring the child to find words they do not yet have.
Research consistently supports play therapy's effectiveness. Meta-analyses show that children who receive play therapy improve significantly more than those who receive no treatment, with moderate to large effect sizes across a range of presenting concerns. The Association for Play Therapy notes that play therapy has been validated for anxiety, depression, trauma, behavioral problems, and developmental concerns.
What Actually Happens in a Play Therapy Session
A play therapy room at Florida Coast Counseling is stocked with carefully selected materials: sand trays, figurines representing a wide range of characters and scenarios, art supplies, puppets, building materials, dollhouses, and games. The selection is intentional -- different materials access different kinds of expression and provide different therapeutic opportunities.
In a child-centered play therapy approach, the therapist follows the child's lead. The child chooses what to play and how, and the therapist reflects, tracks, and responds in ways that communicate acceptance and understanding without directing. The therapist is not passive -- they are actively attuned to what the child is communicating through their play choices, themes, and emotional tone.
In more directive approaches, particularly for trauma work, the therapist may introduce specific activities or frameworks to help the child engage with particular material. Trauma-focused CBT with play elements, for example, might involve structured activities around building a "trauma narrative" in age-appropriate, non-frightening ways.
Either way, from the child's perspective, it feels like play. That is the point. The therapeutic work is embedded in an experience that is natural, non-threatening, and genuinely engaging.
What to Expect as a Parent
A few things that are helpful to know before your child starts play therapy:
- Progress can look like regression before it improves. It is not uncommon for children to act out more at home in the early weeks of play therapy -- not because therapy is making things worse, but because the child is beginning to process material that had been suppressed. This typically settles, and children often emerge from this phase with noticeably better regulation.
- Confidentiality applies to children too. The therapist will not share the details of your child's play with you. This is intentional -- children need to know the therapy room is a safe space where they will not be reported to parents. The therapist will communicate themes, progress, and guidance without breaching your child's confidence.
- Parent meetings are part of the process. Your therapist will meet with you regularly to discuss observations, guidance on how to support your child at home, and updates on the therapeutic work. These meetings are important -- the work does not happen only in the therapy room.
- It takes time. Play therapy is not a quick fix. For complex trauma or long-standing behavioral concerns, the work may take six months to a year or more. For more contained issues -- anxiety around a specific transition, adjustment after a move -- significant improvement may come more quickly.
Play Therapy in Naples, Fort Myers & Estero
Florida Coast Counseling provides play therapy at our offices in Naples, Fort Myers, and Estero. Our child therapists have experience working with children across a range of concerns, including anxiety, behavioral issues, family transitions, grief, and trauma -- including children affected by Hurricane Ian in Lee County.
We work with children from Collier County and Lee County school districts, and are familiar with the school referral process and how to coordinate with school counselors and teachers when appropriate. Parent consultations are a built-in part of our work with children, and we are happy to answer questions about the process before your child's first appointment.
If your child has been struggling and you are wondering whether play therapy might help, a first step is simply a phone call. Our team can talk through what you are seeing and help you determine whether play therapy -- or another form of child and adolescent therapy -- is the right fit.
Key Takeaway
Play therapy is not a lesser version of real therapy -- it is therapy delivered in the language children actually speak. A skilled play therapist can accomplish in the sand tray or the dollhouse what would be impossible to achieve by sitting a young child down and asking how they feel. If your child's therapist has recommended this approach, it is because they believe this child, at this age, needs this medium. Trust that -- and give it time.
Frequently Asked Questions
How old does a child need to be for play therapy?
Play therapy is most commonly used with children between ages 3 and 12, with the approach adapted for the child's developmental stage. Younger children (3 to 6) benefit most from purely play-based methods, while older children (8 to 12) may be ready for a blend of play and conversation. Adolescents are generally seen in traditional talk therapy or expressive arts approaches rather than classic play therapy, though creative and experiential elements can still be valuable for teens who struggle to articulate their experience verbally.
What kinds of problems can play therapy help with?
Play therapy is effective for a wide range of childhood concerns including anxiety, depression, behavioral difficulties, trauma and abuse, grief and loss, ADHD, school-related stress, social difficulties, family changes like divorce or a new sibling, and adjustment after a significant life event like a move or a natural disaster. It is particularly well-suited for children who cannot yet articulate their inner experience -- or who have the words but find it too scary to say them directly.
How will I know if play therapy is working?
Progress in play therapy can look subtle at first -- a child who was shut down may begin to engage more freely in play; a child with tantrums may show more flexibility at home; a child with nightmares may start sleeping through the night. Your therapist will communicate regularly with you about what they are observing in sessions and what changes to look for at home. Most parents notice meaningful shifts within 8 to 12 sessions, though the timeline depends on the complexity of what the child is working through. Parent involvement is an important part of the process.
Do parents participate in play therapy?
Yes, in most cases. Your therapist will typically meet with you at the start of treatment to gather history, at regular intervals to share observations and guidance, and in some models -- particularly Filial Therapy -- parents participate in sessions directly, learning to use therapeutic play skills at home. Even in models where the child is seen individually, parents play an important role. What you do between sessions -- how you respond to your child's behavior, how you talk about the therapy -- significantly influences the outcome.
Related Reading
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When anxiety keeps your child from going to school
Does My Child Have ADHD?
Signs of ADHD vs. normal childhood behavior
Mental Health After Hurricane Ian
How trauma affects Lee County children and families
Family Therapy vs. Individual Therapy
How to choose the right approach for your family
About the Author
Rebecca Anderson, PhD
Licensed Psychologist & Co-Owner, Florida Coast Counseling
Dr. Anderson is a Licensed Psychologist with over 20 years of experience helping individuals navigate anxiety, depression, life transitions, and mood disorders. She co-founded Florida Coast Counseling with Christy Shutok and sees clients at the Naples and Estero offices. Her approach combines evidence-based practices -- including CBT, mindfulness, and Internal Family Systems -- with a warm, client-centered style.
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Our child therapists in Naples, Fort Myers, and Estero use play therapy to help children process what they cannot yet say. We welcome calls from parents who have questions before scheduling.
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